“It's too easy to criticize a man when he's out of favour, and to make him shoulder the blame for everybody else's mistakes.”
~ Leo Tolstoy
Scapegoating is the practice of singling out any party for unmerited or unwarranted negative treatment or blame. Scapegoating may be conducted by individuals against individuals, individuals against groups, groups against individuals, and groups against groups. Scapegoating relates to guilt by association and stereotyping, a tactic often used to characterize an entire group of individuals according to the unethical or immoral conduct of a small number of individuals belonging to that group.
Unwanted thoughts and feelings can be unconsciously projected onto another who becomes a scapegoat for one's own problems, whereby the chosen group, becomes the scapegoat for the individual's or the group's problems ― just as much as the backyard or school ground gossip of little groups and individuals.
A scapegoat may be an adult, child, sibling, employee, peer, ethnic, political or religious group, or country – a whipping boy, or fall guy are forms of scapegoat.
For those who have lived a life as the projection of the narcissist's or bully's insecurities and inadequacies, here is a pledge for you to live by:
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I AM MY OWN AUTHORITY
~Anonymous~
I must give myself the right to be me – to function as I see fit. It is impossible to have a sound self-concept until I am true to myself and accept full responsibility for my own individual life, my own need fulfillment. At any instant I can start a new life.
I ALLOW MYSELF THE FREEDOM – I DEMAND OF MYSELF THE RIGHT:
To recognize myself as an important and interesting person in the world – a unique and precious part of life.
To feel warm and happy, kind and loving toward myself.
To realize that at my divine center I am no better or worse, or more or less important, than anyone else in the entire world.
To be different, to make mistakes, to be "wrong," to be inadequate.
To take the time and effort to fulfill my own needs.
To be happy and free – to be harmonious and effective – to succeed.
To be open and kind, loving and lovable – compassionate and helpful.
To be keenly sensitive and aware – radiantly healthy and energetic.
To do less than perfect – to be inefficient, to procrastinate, to "goof off," to kill time.
To have "unacceptable" thoughts, images, desire and experiences.
To allow others to make mistakes, to be "wrong" – to be ignorant, to be "screwed-up."
To act spontaneously, to resist, to change my mind, to be stubborn.
To be emotional – to love, to cry, to be angry, to be selfish and uncaring.
To drop all masks and images – to not fulfill other's expectations and images of me.
To be criticized, condemned, disapproved, disliked and unwanted.
To fail and to learn from it.
To be loyal, courageous, and exceptional – in both my person and my work.
To accept my own authority – to follow my own "knowing."
I allow myself complete freedom and I recognize that I am inescapably responsible for all my decisions and actions. For I must inevitably pay the price incurred. I profit or suffer, learn and grow according to the "nature and consequences" of my act. I realize that "good and evil," right and wrong," are but intellectual concepts, for there is only wisdom and unwisdom, only wise and unwise acts.
Therefore, prior to serious decisions I ask myself, "Is this act wise? (i.e., will it injure myself or others – will it contribute to my basic needs – is it in alignment with the laws and forces of life?) What is the total price involved? Can I afford to pay it? And, am I willing to accept the consequences?"
I know that in the final analysis I need answer only to myself and that I have all the time there is for my total unfoldment – that at worst I can only postpone my ultimate reunion with the Infinite. However, wisdom and love, freedom and joy beckon me onward and I choose to proceed as rapidly as my prevailing perception and wisdom allow.
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