New Years Eve Jar

pingoat

Wings of the Wind

by Micha-el Cleveland

      I saw unbridled joy today
      A pleasant surprise
      I saw untethered elation
      Upon a child's face
      As he set his heart free
      By letting go, letting go, his shiny balloon
      When he first set his toy free
      I anticipated a sigh as his eye
      Searched within the sky
      I expected him to cry
      But he laughed as his friend danced
      On the wings of the clouds
      His laughter guided the eyes
      Of the schoolyard as they gazed in the skies
      And then the most astonishing thing occurred
      As they released their friends
      To dance among the clouds on the wings of the wind
      The din that rose,
      was the most beautiful laughter put upon the wind
      The One above had to smile to see their lovely joy
      His children made for him upon the winds with their toy
      They donated to him with unabated joy
      Upon the wings of the wind.

      D.M. Cleveland 13 Dec 2011






Feed Shark

Coping Skills - Highly Underrated

You might think that when someone says, “I’m coping,” that it’s not such a big deal.

You would be wrong.

The skill of coping is highly underrated, and our inability to cope with difficult feelings can lead to major problems, including health problems, financial ruin, work procrastination, even death.

Not such an insignificant skill!

How can the lack of coping skills lead to death and other major problems? Well, let’s say that you’re bored and lonely, but don’t know how to cope with those feelings in a healthy way. You might try to avoid these problems with distraction, food, TV, smoking, drinking. I know, because I’ve done those things myself, many times. These aren’t such a big deal once in a while, but frequent use of these coping mechanisms will lead to eating way too much, smoking or drinking too much, inactivity (from watching too much TV or being online too much) … and these all can lead to long-term related health problems, like diabetes or heart disease.

What would be another way to cope?

If you’re bored, you might cope by learning something new, or tackling a new challenge. If you’re lonely, you might try to exercise, write, teach yourself a new skill, or meet new people. These are just a few examples, but you can see that these are much healthier ways of coping.

So how you cope can be the difference between a good life, and a sick one. We all have unhealthy coping mechanisms, and finding better ways of coping will help us procrastinate less, eat healthier, exercise, and be happier.

Self-Compassion As a Way of Coping

When you find yourself facing difficult feelings, your first reaction might be to avoid thinking about the feelings.

Let’s say someone close to you has gotten sick or died — you might not want to face the pain, so you cope with it by avoiding the pain, finding ways to numb the pain or distract yourself. This is running from the problem.

If you notice yourself doing this, it’s a good time to pause. Just say to yourself, “I’m avoiding.”

Now instead of avoiding, you have the choice to gently turn toward the pain, and say, “I’m hurting.” Or “I’m angry.” This is an acknowledgement of whatever you’re going through. And it’s OK to feel these things.

Next, you can deal kindly with the pain, with the boredom or guilt or grief or anger or loneliness. These are all very difficult, and it’s OK to feel them, and it’s OK to comfort yourself with kindness, compassion, love. Wish for an end to your pain, and wish for your own happiness.

Curiosity and Openness

You’ve given yourself some compassion, but what to do about these difficult feelings?

Stay with the feeling(s) you’re having, and be curious about what it’s like. For example, if you’re feeling overwhelmed with a project, instead of avoiding the project and seeking distraction (procrastinating) … try staying with this feeling of being overwhelmed. It’s not a fun feeling, and you’ll want to run. But be curious — what’s it like to just feel overwhelmed without running?

Face the feeling with an attitude of openness. Be open to uncomfortable feelings, and as always, you’ll find that it’s not comfortable but you’ll be OK. You develop a trust that everything will turn out fine. It’s not pleasant, but it’s fine.

Curiosity means that we don’t instantly decide we know this is a horrible experience and try to run away … it means we decide we don’t really know what this will be like, and we’d like to find out more. It’s a learning stance, instead of one that assumes we know what things will be like.

It’s an approach of exploring new territory, and finding out what this new experience has in store for us.

The Benefits of Coping

This isn’t an easy practice, I’ll admit. But it’s worthwhile, because with this kind of healthy coping, you can find better ways of dealing with all kinds of things, including:

•Procrastination — instead of running from scary and overwhelming tasks, we can see what it’s like to feel afraid and overwhelmed, and still take action on these tasks. Writing a book, for example, is scary and overwhelming, but we can still write even with these feelings flowing through us.

•Anger and frustration — instead of wanting to lash out at people (or avoid them) when we’re frustrated with them, we can stay with these difficult feelings and just be curious what it’s like to feel them. And then, when we’ve stayed with these feelings (and given ourselves some compassion), we can see what it’s like to deal compassionately with someone who we’re frustrated with. To try to understand them instead of judging them.

•Unhealthy cravings for food, drink, smoking — we turn to these things for comfort when we’re feeling stressed, bored, lonely, sad … but we can stay with these feelings and be curious about them, and learn to do other, healthier actions instead, like taking a walk, doing yoga, meditating, talking with people, creating, learning, practicing a skill, and so on. These are healthier ways of coping, but we often avoid them because we don’t like to feel these feelings and want to stuff the hole in our hearts with comfort food, drugs, etc.

•Death and illness — when someone we love becomes sick or dies, the grief and sense of loss can be overwhelming and devastating. We want to comfort ourselves, and so we often turn to unhealthy ways of comforting. But instead, we can give ourselves compassion, stay with the powerfully difficult feelings, and be curious what it’s like to stay with these feelings. Really get to know these feelings, become intimate with them, and trust that we’ll be OK even if we give in to feeling them. We can deal, we can feel, we can get through this, because while it’s far from comfortable or pleasant, it’s doable. And temporary.

That’s just the start — as you learn to cope with self-compassion, staying, and curiosity, you will find that you can deal with anything life throws your way. And come out smiling.

Source: Zen Habits

Pingoat

EVERYTHING

by Katie Robertson

        I will never again think I can place my hand in a position

         to catch all the beauty in a rainbow's alive bright colors.
        I will not refuse them, they belong to me.
        Thinking as though I do not have to drink of the dark clouds
         drenched wet with their sour sorrows,
         there is no holding them back.
        I will not refuse them, they belong to me.
        Plainly seen it is a intermingling.
        Black is not pristine that stands alone,
         it is all colors that have been born.
        Adding white or black to any color brings new renditions.
        I will not refuse them, they belong to me.

Copyright Katie Robertson December 16, 2015
Art copyright Katie Robertson December 16, 2015

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Right Now

Unknown

Right now, there are people all over

the world Who are just like you.

They're lonely. They're missing

Somebody. They're in love with

Someone they probably shouldn't be

In love with. They have secrets you

Wouldn't believe. They wish and they

Dream and they hope, and they look

Out the window whenever they're in

The car or on a bus or a train and they

Watch people on the streets and

Wonder what they've been through.

They wonder if there are people out

There like them. They're like you, and

You could tell them everything and they

Would understand. And right now,

They're sitting here reading these words,

And I'm writing this for you so you

Don't feel alone anymore.

pingomatic

EGO

EGO - The part of you that defines itself as a personality,

separates itself from the outside world, and considers

itself (you) a separate entity from the rest of nature

and the cosmos. Perhaps necessary for survival in

some evolutionary bygone, in modern time it

leads only to (albeit often disguised) misanthropic

beliefs and delusion.

 

In short ... "I"

 

Ego is responsible for hate, fear and delusion.

Ping-o-matic

Desire

pingler